What I eat, apparently

Happy November! Here’s some sausages to warm the soul!

I was going for the hot dog look, but ended up with the “Sausages reclining on delicious beanbags” look. Tasted rather good, in any case, especially when coupled with some maple syrup. Has breakfast ever been so joyful as this?

Coupled with salad and some fluid-holdin’ pals, it made for a great aerial shot!

It’s like a teeny plane flew overhead and caught a majestic meal in the process of almost being eaten.

I am a big fan of food that is stuffed inside other food. I like to think of it as the Russian Doll model of cooking/eating. Truly a beautiful thing, it is. And has the potential to truly be a complicated thing, as my previous experience with attempting empanadas has shown.

And thusly, I attempt lazy Russian Doll food with a lovely thing called Bisquick (I’m a big fan).

First step: squoosh up all of the ingredients. Mine consisted of green peppers, Mexican cheese, bits o’ sausage, and some cream cheese to make it extra lubricated. Lubrication is very important for cooking, you know.

Next step: squish up some biscuit dough. This is all very unscientific here, mind you. I just pour a reasonable amount of Bisquick into a bowl, then proceed to add milk and mix it all as I go, adding more milk until the consistency is doughesque.

Note: “doughesque” is apparently not a real word. Or rather, wasn’t a real word until I added it to my computer’s dictionary. Now if only I can find a way to teleport that word smack dab into Webster’s Dictionary, then I’d be set.

Note: Webster’s dictionary is not actually written by Webster from the popular 80’s tv show of the same name. This is confusing, and possibly a shock to some of you, but you’ll just have to trust me on this one.

Returning to the delicious matter at hand: biscuits. You squish little globs of dough into vaguely ball-like shapes, and hollow them out. Then, stuff those babies with the cheese concoction and seal them up on the top. Bake at a bit longer then you’d do actual biscuits (15 minutes, I think?), and at 350 rather then 400. Or at least that’s what I did, and they came out full of delight.

Tasty indeed. I highly recommend this to anyone who enjoys balls, eating things, Russia, or sausage.

I believe that bisquick is best taken through the nose. It’s not quite pure enough for mainlining it, and smoking bisquick would be absolutely ludicrous. This is why my preferred method of ingesting a good dose of bisquick is to snort it. Snorting bisquick is an art, really, meant more of a bisquick aficionado and not for some amateur biscuit fan. Which is why I chose to present today’s tasty niblet in a more accessible form. for the ‘Average Jane/Joe’ of bisquick consumers.

Thus, bisquick in biscuit form. Laziest bread product ever. I don’t even bother to measure, cause it’s just easier to dump a pile of powder into a bowl and mix milk in until doughy. Then, squish into balls and bake until delicious. Works for me!

Now, I know that the above will simply be insufficient for the hardcore user out there, so I have included bonus imagery for those who need that extra fix. I fully understand that, as an enabler, I do bear some responsibility here. Nonetheless, here is a cat that is huffing pasta.

Now, don’t blame me if your children grow up and start shooting things. Go blame God, or whoever put eyeballs on the sorry bastards in the first place. Besides, in some countries, this stuff is not only legal, but encouraged!