What I eat, apparently

I believe that bisquick is best taken through the nose. It’s not quite pure enough for mainlining it, and smoking bisquick would be absolutely ludicrous. This is why my preferred method of ingesting a good dose of bisquick is to snort it. Snorting bisquick is an art, really, meant more of a bisquick aficionado and not for some amateur biscuit fan. Which is why I chose to present today’s tasty niblet in a more accessible form. for the ‘Average Jane/Joe’ of bisquick consumers.

Thus, bisquick in biscuit form. Laziest bread product ever. I don’t even bother to measure, cause it’s just easier to dump a pile of powder into a bowl and mix milk in until doughy. Then, squish into balls and bake until delicious. Works for me!

Now, I know that the above will simply be insufficient for the hardcore user out there, so I have included bonus imagery for those who need that extra fix. I fully understand that, as an enabler, I do bear some responsibility here. Nonetheless, here is a cat that is huffing pasta.

Now, don’t blame me if your children grow up and start shooting things. Go blame God, or whoever put eyeballs on the sorry bastards in the first place. Besides, in some countries, this stuff is not only legal, but encouraged!

It’s kinda rare for me to get decent closeup shots. Generally, I think my camera is bitter towards me. See, I used to have a different digital camera before my current one. I really liked it, I even hand-made it a camera case and everything. Then someone broke into my apartment and stole it (among other things). I mourned the loss of that camera greatly. That camera and I, we had forged a special relationship together, and to have it ripped so cruelly from me was not something I could readily handle.

Anyhow, after an appropriate mourning period, I decided it was time to get a new camera. I even upgraded to a better model. However, I think this camera has always known that I never completely got over my feelings towards the first camera. It’s a shame in a way, too, as this camera is definitely better (by some people’s standards of ‘better’ at least). I even bought it a shiny case and everything, and I give it as much affection as a person like me can possibly give a camera! Still, it serves me well, and has it’s bad days like any other piece of machinery. I need to give credit where it’s deserved.

In any case, here’s some cheesy pasta with basil:

I always attempt to make homemade pasta with cheese to combat the general unhealthiness of box pasta with cheese, but it tends to end up being greasier. This is due to me being all inspired to dump in as many cheeses as possible, and inevitably several of them are not inclined to melt very easily. Meaning that, inevitably, I’ll think adding butter and/or olive oil is a great idea. All of which still leads to delicious, but definitely not to healthy. Albeit, if you want to eat pasta and cheese, it’s probably best to chuck the whole ‘healthy’ thing pretty early on, anyhow.

My pasta is totally blinged out, yo. You see, when you really get down to the nitty gritty, there’s just something about a lens flare that makes life worth living.

See, these shells and cheese are so glamorous, you can barely tell what they are!

Actually, Pasta Roni shells and cheese is a glorious thing. I like to pump them up with parmesan, oregano, and garlic. So cheap, too! Actually, I really like cheapo shells and cheese. There’s something about that powdered cheese food product that makes life worth living.

To be honest here, I like expensive shells and cheese too. Really, as long as there’s cheese involved I’m gonna be OK with the pasta situation. Well, unless it uses elbow macaroni. That is the Macaroni of Satan. I don’t care what anyone tells me, I totally think that different shapes of noodles taste different from each other, and elbow macaroni is just no good at all.