I Love a Good Dose of Bisquick

I believe that bisquick is best taken through the nose. It’s not quite pure enough for mainlining it, and smoking bisquick would be absolutely ludicrous. This is why my preferred method of ingesting a good dose of bisquick is to snort it. Snorting bisquick is an art, really, meant more of a bisquick aficionado and [...]

Fruity Smoothie

This is a rather bad photo. However, the deliciousness of the smoothie overwhelmed the badness of the photo so much that I was simply compelled to post it here. I apparently had some sort of lack-of-smoothie induced arthritis, or epilepsy perhaps. Or, maybe this was a symptom of a tragic onset of scurvy, which I [...]

Vietnamese Garden Rolls

So at some point recently, a legion of lazy carrots invaded my fridge. They refuse to leave. So, inevitably, I’ve been attempting to figure out things to do with said carrots. I find raw carrots by themselves bland and boring, and cooked carrots by themselves are mildly repulsive. Nonetheless, the part of me that is [...]

Homemade French Fries

Potatoes are a beautiful thing. Spudtastic, even. Spudilicious. Spudariffic. And a whole slew of other words I could totally make up if I felt like it. I made these babies. Sliced them up, fried them in a pan with oil, sprinkled them with various seasonings, and dipped them lovingly in ketchup right before they got [...]

Biscuits ahoy

So there I was, deep in the Amazon. And by ‘Amazon’, I mean ‘My apartment’. Anyhow, a vision of light appeared in my head…a vision of biscuits. A vision so luminescent that white flour alone would not cut it. No, I needed wheat flour as well for this job. A blending of two flours, to [...]

Goobers Galore

So at some point in the vaguely recent past, I happened to acquire a small collection of goobers. I’m not quite sure I’ve had goobers before this point but, sad to say, they’re just not all that good. I need them to at least be doused in caramel or some other substance, at least they’d [...]

Beans, Beans, the Musical Fruit

I believe that pork and beans are rather akin to sake – good either hot, or cold, but never lukewarm. This is a neat image if you ignore the fact that a.) there are stains on the potholder, b.) it’s a bowl of beans sitting precariously on a stuffed chair, and c.) this might just [...]

Count Chocula-riffic

Breakfast cereals are a beautiful thing. Especially when not eaten for breakfast. Count Chocula cereal is fluffy, delightful, and full of marshmallows!

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