What I eat, apparently

So there’s this barbecue place vaguely near where I live that I’ve been dying to eat at for a few years now, called Buz and Ned’s. I’ll do that you see, I’ll have places that I’ll decide to eat at and it will take me years to eat there, all for various reasons. I’m a slave to coupons, so often this inconveniences me. If the food served there is rather unhealthy, it’s likely I’ll never get there in winter, as I always feel like a giant bloated sponge all winter long due to being to cold to move, and therefore, exercise. Really, the only thing I *am* good at in wintertime is eating Christmas cookies. Thus, the sponge.

Anyhow, Drew and myself made it over to Buz and Neds, he got a bbq chicken sandwich and I got the pork sandwich. Simply delightful.

I actually liked the chicken sandwich more then the pork sandwich, but this had to do with it having a bit more sauce then anything else. The sauce was excellent, sweet and barbecuey and just what I look for in a bbq sandwich.

Incidentally, the person at the register asked me if I wanted cole slaw and/or hot sauce on it. I declined for both. This is because a.) I am a wuss and can only handle but so much spice and b.) cole slaw is disgusting. I would even be able to give you scientific proof that cole slaw is disgusting if it weren’t for the fact that scientists are too grossed out by it to get close enough to gather the data necessary to prove said disgustingness. Cole Slaw is the Slaw of the Devil.

Also, their brownies are absolutely delightful. We didn’t get to try any sides, as one’s stomach can hold but so much.

It’s a rare thing that can tempt a lady’s heart more then a big pile of meat.

There I was, casually roaming the aisles of the local Kroger, when a friendly little tube of sausage just hopped right on into my cart. Being a kind person, I allowed it to come along for the ride. I get home, and it promptly crawls into my freezer, curls right on up, and goes to sleep.

A few weeks later, I’m in the kitchen, just minding my own business, when I hear a pounding on the freezer door. I open it up, and out jumps the sausage tube! I had my suspicions that it wanted nothing more then to crawl down my throat! So I went on instinct, and left it out to thaw.

Later, when I whipped out a frying pan and cutting board, there it was, anxious to be sliced. I did the deed. Promptly afterwards, the patties hopped into the frying pan and began sizzling away. Don’t they just look so content?

Anyhow, they got all naughty and covered with grease. So I got out my handy dandy paper towels and patted them dry. This is a technique I honed back when I ate public school lunches. The napkins in public school cafeterias exist less to wipe your hands and mouth and more for absorbing pizza grease. So anyway, then I slapped a sausage into a nice toasty biscuit and doused it with syrup. I then topped off my sausage biscuit with a side of sausage.

Let me tell you, this concoction slid down my throat like nothing else. That meat sure knew a sucker when it saw me!

Long time no post, eh?

I was a complete slacker this weekend. I’d be partway through eating something when I’d suddenly remember my lonely little camera, lounging away in the hotel room. So it goes. But it’s all good, I remembered a few times, and I can make up the rest.

Pizza is essential eating at the beach. This was a delightful pizza with chicken on it gotten from some place that also had even more delightful chicken souvlaki. Said souvlaki was so delightful that there wasn’t any delight left over for the camera, in that my picture of it really sucked. So here’s the pizza instead:

That’s one of the really good things about beach food, is that there’s about 28374892374 times as many locally owned pizza places as there are chain pizza places.

I also got the joy of eating some North Carolina Style (read: vinegar) barbecue that was actually good, and not dry like I’ve had before. Mind you, I still added ketchup, as I’m strongly a fan of the tomato based bbq, but nonetheless, I could have been perfectly content without. Yeah, I didn’t take a picture of that, either. However, there was also some barbecue on a seafood buffet, which I felt obliged to get. The picture came out dull and fuzzy, so I used my Photoshop friend to help it out.

Apparently, lens flare is barbecue’s best friend! You just can’t say ‘no’ to meat that’s as blinged out as that.

These days, having a window open generally results in the scent of cooked meat wafting in at all times of day (and possibly night, as I’m generally asleep however I can’t be too sure about that). The entirely frustrating part about all of this is my complete lack of grill. I suppose I *could* technically buy one, but that would involve spending money, as well as the intent to spend more then a year living in my currently backyarded rented abode. This leaves me with two tendencies which I vigorously practice.

Tendency #1 is my waiting for the both eagerly anticipated and highly dreaded arrival of the Grill Fairy, whereupon I’d wake up with a sharp jabbing pain in my neck and charcoal down my shirt, but a grill resting sweetly beneath my pillow to make it all worthwhile. No luck on this one so far.

The far better tendency is #2, whereupon I get to mooch off the cook-offs of others, and eat tasties like these:

There’s actually another option in all of this. It’s called “The George Foreman Grill and Extension Cord Method”. It doesn’t produce quite the flavorful taste and aroma one might hope for, but it does indeed fulfill the ‘grilling outdoors’ requirement entailed in, err, grilling outdoors.

A final note: Those with gas stoves are in luck. I greatly enjoy stabbing a wiener (huh huh ‘wiener’) with a fork and cooking it over the gas stove until said wiener is rendered delicious. This also works well with marshmallows. I highly recommend it.

So the beauty of the bean concoction that I made yesterday lies strongly in its cheapness. $.60 for a can of beans, $.60 for a can of tomatoes, a scoop out of a large bag of frozen corn that cost $1.50, a chunk of cilantro for a buck, and misc. seasonings already sitting around. And the rice: a scoop out of a 10 lb bag that cost $6. Oh how I love Asian grocery stores.

And the beans go on forever, as beans are want to do.

My lunch. Or rather, half of my lunch, as the other side of this baby was rather identical to the first.

I got bored and soaked some chicken parts in bbq sauce for awhile, baked them, and they worked as excellent accompaniment to the Delightful Bean Scourge.

I cropped that, not necessarily for the artistic feel, but because the chair that plate sits on isn’t exactly promoting of a healthy appetite, if you know what I mean. And by this, I mean it had been sitting in the sun for a few days and had accumulated the sort of look that such a piece of furniture is apt to acquire, especially considering the feisty tree and bushes nearby.

I still have beans left, somehow. I promise I won’t take any more pictures of them, really.