What I eat, apparently

It’s a rare thing that can tempt a lady’s heart more then a big pile of meat.

There I was, casually roaming the aisles of the local Kroger, when a friendly little tube of sausage just hopped right on into my cart. Being a kind person, I allowed it to come along for the ride. I get home, and it promptly crawls into my freezer, curls right on up, and goes to sleep.

A few weeks later, I’m in the kitchen, just minding my own business, when I hear a pounding on the freezer door. I open it up, and out jumps the sausage tube! I had my suspicions that it wanted nothing more then to crawl down my throat! So I went on instinct, and left it out to thaw.

Later, when I whipped out a frying pan and cutting board, there it was, anxious to be sliced. I did the deed. Promptly afterwards, the patties hopped into the frying pan and began sizzling away. Don’t they just look so content?

Anyhow, they got all naughty and covered with grease. So I got out my handy dandy paper towels and patted them dry. This is a technique I honed back when I ate public school lunches. The napkins in public school cafeterias exist less to wipe your hands and mouth and more for absorbing pizza grease. So anyway, then I slapped a sausage into a nice toasty biscuit and doused it with syrup. I then topped off my sausage biscuit with a side of sausage.

Let me tell you, this concoction slid down my throat like nothing else. That meat sure knew a sucker when it saw me!

So, if you already didn’t know, waffles are the breakfast* of the gods. I mean, with that many syrup traps, how could you go wrong?

So, I only had 1.5 of the 2 cups of mix required to make said waffles, so I improvised, mostly by dumping in a bunch of strawberry chunks and chocolate chips. The result was the sort of waffles that made me wish I had some ice cream around.**

It may look like I was trying to be artsy in taking the picture, but really I just forgot about my camera until I’d already eaten several bites. Thus, that part got cropped out.

*I’m actually not really into waffles for breakfast. Or much of any breakfast food beyond cereal and bagels, for that matter. I need to be up for at least several hours before my stomach can take that sort of hardcore action.

**I may not have had ice cream, but I did have rum!