Whereupon I make tiny apple and chocolate pies with buttermilk biscuit dough

closeup of pies

So I guess I’ve been thinking a bit about pie crusts. Or pies in general, and how much I like pies, and how homemade pies are so much better than storebought pies. And how it’s a giant pain in my behind to try making pie crusts. And I could just buy a pie crust, pre-baked even. Which works fine if you’ve got a bunch of filling, but is way too much when this is all you have to work with:

Wrinkly apples

Two apples. Kinda soft, kinda wrinkly, I knew they’d be rather unpleasant to try eating in the standard manner of eating apples. But, still good for baking, right? It’s kinda the best part of buying too much fruit – if some of it gets too ripe, there’s a world of baked goods that can be made from it. So I skinned these apples, chopped them up, and tossed them in a pan with what I estimated was a respectable volume of sugar, cinnamon, and nutmeg.

unbaked apples

I baked them at 360 for awhile, and then baked them a bit longer. I think, in a misguided attempt at health, I used less sugar than I ought to have. Not only were the apples not super sweet, but they also weren’t as soft as they could have been. Anyhow, I kept at it until they were tolerably soft and appetizing.

baked apples

So I had this idea about pie crusts. Like, I know that you can make some amazing pie-like things with crescent rolls. So, why not biscuits? So I got that tube that’s pictured alongside the baked apples above. I sprayed down a cupcake tin with some Pam, and squished those biscuits right on in. They didn’t spread as easily as they could have, but I got them to be a tolerable cup shape after enough prodding.

After dumping the apples in, I still had half the biscuit cups sitting empty. So, I made some improv chocolate chess pies. Well, I kinda guessed at it, cause sometimes it’s fun to make something up and see what happens. I combined a few eggs, some milk, a bunch of cocoa powder, a little bit of flour, and a bit of sugar, and poured that into the remaining cups.

pies unbaked

I topped the apple pies with some crushed walnuts for bonus flavor. Then I baked everything at 350 degrees for about 15 minutes or so.

pies baked

And the end result? Kinda weird! First, my fillings were less than on par. I already mentioned the kinda-but-not-really sweet apples – sticking them into a less than sweet dough didn’t really help with that. Also, I’m really bad at inventing chocolate pie. Instead, I think I invented custard! It was thicker than pudding, probably due to the eggs, and another unfortunate victim of my “hey, let’s not put in too much sugar!” mentality. In the future, dessert = more sugar. On a related note, when making dessert, make sure to thoroughly mix in the eggs. It’s a bit discombobulating to be eating something chocolate-pudding-like and come across a large chunk of egg!

two baked pies

Sorta mixed feelings about the biscuit dough as pie crust. I mean, I really like buttermilk biscuits. But, in in the end, I think they’re meant more to be savory than sweet. I could maybe see this working better with a cheesecake filling, actually. Or something quiche-like, if you’re into that sort of thing. I can’t exactly write it off as a failure, as I still ate these little pies and enjoyed them. But, I don’t really see myself trying this particular combination of items again. Well, you win some, you lose some!

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