If You Are Five Years Old, Then You Too May Enjoy This Sandwich

(I’m Chris, and this is a guest post. Of course this is a guest post, you think Virginia would make something this horrifying?)

Well hello there, loyal Tasty Niblets readers! If you’re unaware, I’m the schlub that Virginia happens to live with. Virginia enjoys making me eat things that go outside of my usual food comfort zone, so I figured one evening I would show her the horrors of what I happen to enjoy.

I should preface this by mentioning that I am secretly five years old, at least in the taste bud region. My favorite foods include Kraft Macaroni & Cheese and Trix. I had told Virginia the tale of a sandwich that I created at age five because my dad wouldn’t allow me to have some of my favorite snack foods and candies. Being the clever child that I was, I decided to just shove all of said snacks and candies onto a sandwich so nobody would notice I was still getting my sugar/cheese fix.

For reasons unknown, I took a hearty liking to the sandwich even after I stopped being five and have enjoyed making it every so often ever since as a guilty pleasure. The ingredients required are white bread, turkey, mayonnaise, Cheetos and M&M’s. (Puffy Cheetos and regular M&Ms are preferred if possible!)

I imagine that half of you have already closed this article and ran off to vomit, but hear me out here.

There’s a very specific method to making the madness that is this sandwich. One slice of bread is covered in turkey and then the Cheetos are put on top of it in either the shape of an X or the shape of a plus sign.

The other slice of bread is slathered in mayo and then M&Ms are pressed into the mass of whiteness so that they can be put easily on top of the other slice.

And because I also have the appetite of a 15 year old, I made it a triple-decker as you saw from the three slices of bread in the first picture. Witness the horror, completed and ready to scarf down!

If you’re wondering how it tastes, it’s very hard to explain. I believe Virginia said that the Cheetos were all right with her, but the Turkey/Chocolate combination didn’t really jive in her mouth. And honestly, I’m pretty sure that if I were trying this for the first time in my life right now I would probably hate it as well. Acquired tastes are best acquired when you’re five years old, right? (Note: This does not hold true for Whiskey.)

Also, I have no way to segue into this so I’m just going to shamelessly plug my soccer blog here at the end right out in the open. Hope you enjoyed.

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2 Comments

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