Adventures In Overeating At Red Lobster

I’m not usually huge on chain restaurants, but I totally have a soft spot for Red Lobster. This is because I have a giant soft spot for seafood, the sort of soft spot that encompasses my entire gastro-intestinal system. And, quite conveniently, I’ve recently discovered that a perk of doing a food blog is that people might hook you up in wonderful ways in order to lure you into their restaurants. So, disclaimer here, a PR group that works with Red Lobster totally sent me a $40 gift card, which ended up being super convenient last week when it was barely over 0 degrees out and my ambition to cook matched the temperature.

So we started off with drinks:

tasty beverages

I went with the ‘”Sunset Passion Colada” on the left, and Drew got the “Triple Berry Sangria” on the right. I am a sucker for all things pina colada related, so this particular Colada went down quite nicely. I could’ve gone with a touch more rum, but considering I was driving that night, it’s probably for the best that it wasn’t stronger. Drew’s sangria was good (though I preferred the coconut-tastic concoction I had) and he ended up ordering another one later. I also got all of his fruit, as for some bizarre reason, he does not like strawberries. More for me!


The salad was a standard house salad. Very specific number of slices of tomato, cucumber, and such. Nothing particularly wrong with it but, you know, iceberg lettuce isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. How convenient, then, that I had a large cup of Ranch dressing to douse everything with. Ranch makes everything better!

So, I’ve mentioned before that Drew’s not a big seafood person, and is oftentimes downright intimidated by it. However, all of this is overridden when these babies come around:

Red Lobster biscuits

The “Cheddar Bay Biscuits” are a glorious combination of butter and cheese and garlic. Well, probably flour too. I would love to get my hands on the Biscuit Bird they have that hatches these things, because they’re so freaking good. The first time Drew went to a Red Lobster, he ate seven of these. Seven. At 150 calories each, that is quite impressive! He only ate two this time around, which I find even more impressive, restraint-wise.

Here’s a glistening closeup!

Cheddar bay biscuits closeup

So quite impressively, I managed to not get completely full by the time the entree arrived. This is always the complication with appetizers – unless you come to the restaurant famished, you kinda don’t even want your entree by the time it gets there. I probably planned ahead and skipped lunch that day, so I was totally prepared.

Pecan crusted jumbo shrimp

I got the pecan crusted jumbo shrimp. Essentially, this consisted of two skewers of shrimp covered in a sweet sauce (greatly reminiscent of eel sauce, if you’re into sushi), then sprinkled with pecan crispies, which were pecans plus…something crispy? I’m really not sure what the crispies in the pecan mixture were, but they added excellent texture. All of this was sitting on wild rice, and I got broccoli for my side. Eaten by themselves, the shrimp were a little too sweet, but mixed together with the rice and broccoli, this was amazing. I kinda wanted there to be a little more rice, but it turned out to be moot since I couldn’t even finish all of my shrimp anyway. Ah, overeating.

Anything I get here I compare to the coconut shrimp, as that’s my default menu choice. You cannot go wrong with coconut shrimp dipped in pina colada sauce. I wanted to try something new though, so I had to compromise and get my pina colada in alcoholic drinkable form this time around!

And this might be very well one of the worst pictures I’ve ever taken that I’ve actually posted on here:

Parmesan Tilapia

Drew’s meal of choice was the parmesan tilapia, with broccoli and potatoes. I can guarantee that the potatoes were not that dark, and the tilapia was not that yellow. Even Photoshop let me down this time around, alas. Drew really liked this dish. Admittedly, it’s hard to dislike anything that’s coated in Alfredo sauce and parmesan, but even aside from that, the fish was good. Course, Drew’s been putting up with my sad and flaccid baked tilapia for a little while now, so it was probably quite refreshing to eat tilapia cooked by someone who, unlike me, is actually capable of cooking tilapia and making it taste good. (I gave up on tilapia awhile back, maybe I’ll try again and pray to the Fish Gods that it won’t disintegrate into flakes like it always does on me).

Anyhow, yay for overeating on seafood! Methinks it’s time to go catch a wild Biscuit Bird.

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