Yeah, it’s the holidays and all, but I’ve been a bum lately. No post in over a week, for shame! And because of the post I’m about to make, all of the interesting food I ate over the holidays won’t get written about until January, when anyone who reads the posts will be so sick of holiday leftovers that they’ll immediately vomit all over their keyboards. D’oh! Nonetheless, due to having spent all my energies in buying things and wrapping things in paper and making food for other people, the food I actually ended up eating (minus Christmas dinner, mind you, which by law has to be complicated and take all day) is often whatever requires very little effort (usually cookies, but sometimes actual food!).
Anyhow, macaroni and cheese is about as lazy as it gets. I am actually really picky about my mac & cheese. See, I think different shapes of pasta taste differently. My least favorite pasta shape is elbow macaroni. However, this is one of the most common shapes used in macaroni and cheese. Growing up, I was that weird kid who really disliked macaroni and cheese, and that stupid elbow macaroni was to blame for that. I eventually got to eat macaroni in other shapes, and came to appreciate the subtle nuances of flavor that is cheese (or cheeze, as is often the case) dumped all over carbs.
In the bell curve of macaroni and cheeses, I stick to the edges. I either like the super floofy sorts, involving white cheddar gently folded onto wrinkly fancy noodles with names that I can’t pronounce, or I like the dirt-cheap 40 cents a box types. And it is the latter that I present today.
Oh, discount mac and cheese, always there for me when I have few dollars and don’t really care about nutrients. Still, you need fat in your diet, right? Right?!? It’s important to get enough, really. Anyhow, with this stuff, you can add more cheese if the powdered cheese isn’t quite enough for you, either real cheese or slices of “processed cheese food product” work wonderfully. A bit of garlic always adds a kick as well. And just look at the resulting gooey gooeyness!
Nuclear cheese! If the Bomb Fairy visited some hydrogen and atomic bombs and turned them all into real boys and girls, this is the first thing they’d want to eat! I mean, I know the off-brand pasta company or whoever is thinking “Yeah, this totally looks like cheddar, right?”, but really it just looks like I’ll be getting my share of Yellow #5 for the month. Still, it’s really satisfying when you just want to fill yourself to the brim with dairy and starch and the 30 minutes for pizza delivery is just way too long to wait.
And for dessert, how about some cereal?
Off-brand kids’ cereal is some of the best stuff around. Mostly for the box art, really. I mean, just look at those aliens! All the C students from art school need jobs too, you know! Oh wait, that art is by the B students, since the C students are all busy flipping burgers (I went to art school, so I can totally poke fun, alright?).
The cereal itself is pretty decent, or about as decent as kid’s cereal can be at least. I think kid’s cereal is great for when you want something sweet but don’t want to eat half a bag of cookies. It’s like dessert that’s fortified with nutrients! I took a closeup photo of the cereal, and it made me want to get in a time machine and head back to 1999 to make a website. So I whipped out my Photoshop skills and made a nice tile.
Or rather, I left my Photoshop skills in my other pants/at home/with your mom/etc. while making this tile. Just look at those jagged edges. But hey, no one cared in 1999!