Do you ever start thinking about pizza, and just can’t stop? I keep thinking about pizza. Giant flappy slices of super cheesy NY style pizza, to be specific. Not that I’d turn down any other type of pizza, mind you. Or anything with enough cheese on it, for that matter. However, my wallet and I do not see eye to eye. And that’s where homemade pizza comes in!
It seems there are a range of definitions to “home-made”. I always make my own sauce, but it’s of the “dump out a can of tomato paste and add stuff to it” kind of making. I’m sure that if you stuffed a bunch of tomatoes into a blender along with the appropriate ingredients it would be much more delicious, but then you’ve gotta wash that blender. On a similar vein, home-made dough is awesome, but then you’ve got to set aside a chunk of extra time for the kneading, the rising, the falling, the punching, and the 289372987432 extra dishes that need washing. More often then not, lazy wins out for me in the end. Thus, here are a few ways to make pizza at home that are pretty lazy.
I call this the Biscuit Method. In the section of the grocery store with the tubes of biscuits and cookie dough, you can find tubes of pizza dough. Usually about $2 a tube (less if on sale, more if you don’t get the store brand), it is awesome for squishing all over a 9″ x 13″ cake pan if you want a thick crust pizza. For a thinner crust (like the one pictured above), you squish it even more onto a cookie sheet. Dump the sauce of your choosing on top, add cheese and ingredients, bake according to directions and voila! Pizza is done, man.
The only drawback to this is the fact that your pizza will taste a bit like biscuits. Actually, the first couple times you make this, you’ll be all like “Wowie! My pizza tastes like biscuits!” I’ve found that after several uses, however, the excitement wears off, and you start longing for a crust that is a little less biscuit-tasting. If you are really into biscuits, though, you might want to consider going straight for the biscuit dough and using that as a pizza crust. Bisquick would probably work wonders for you as well.
If you like as much butter as possible in your life, I also recommend crescent roll pizzas. Lay out flat a crescent roll triangle, dump some sauce, cheese, and toppings into the middle, lay another triangle on top, squish the edges together, and bake until delicious.
So if having to roll out a prepared crust is still entirely too much effort, there are plenty of other options. One of my favorites is the “quesadilla pizza.”
The closer half of these guys was made with flour tortillas, and the browner one is made with Flatout flatbread. You lay your tortilla on a pan, dump on some sauce, cheese, and toppings, lay another tortilla on top, and then bake for 10 minutes or so until undercooked < pizza < overcooked. You can probably just microwave it as well, for that matter, as long as you’re not using raw pork or something as a topping. If you are using raw pork, please cook it before topping your pizza with it. Your intestines will thank you!
If you want a more quesadilla-like experience, you can make these without the pizza sauce, just using cheese and toppings (errr, fillings in this case, I guess). Then you can heat up your sauce in a separate bowl, cut the pizza quesadillas into triangles, and dip away.
There’s all sorts of things you can use as a crust if you’re making a homemade pizza, including:
- English Muffins
- Bagels. Those crappy frozen bagel pizzas you can buy have nothing on homemade bagel pizzas.
- Pita Bread
- French bread. Italian bread too. I’m a silly American and get them all confused.
- A grilled cheese sandwich made with mozzarella and dipped in marinara sauce does wonders to get rid of pizza cravings.
There’s probably other things I haven’t thought of that would make excellent pizza crust. Like saltine crackers might work. Or slice a Krispy Kreme donut in half. Try it, and tell me how it tastes!