Well, not literally, as in we’re not talking about male gods specifically here. More like, if gods ate food, and if they liked eating their food in ball form, this is the sort of food they’d be eating. For dessert. Unless they were really unhealthy gods, then they might just eat them all the time. I certainly do!
Anyhow, cake balls are super easy to make. First, you get a cake mix, and make a cake following the directions on the back. Any cake mix works; some seem to enjoy red velvet, and I am a fan of your standard chocolate or devil’s food cake. Not that I can tell the difference between either. As an aside, one of these days I would like to make a checkerboard cake using an angel food cake mix and a devil’s food cake mix, and I shall call it “Purgatory Cake.”
So, once your cake is done, let it cool enough so that you don’t scald your hands, and crumble it all into a big bowl. Then, dump a can of cream cheese frosting on top. Use your hands to squish it all together until it’s a gross looking pile of brown. Refrigerate this for an hour or so, then form the cake goo into a bunch of balls, laying the balls out on wax paper on a pan.
Stick the pan in the freezer for an hour or so – this makes the balls much less likely to fall apart when sticking them in chocolate. For that part, you’ll want to microwave an entire bag of chocolate chips. It seems like a lot, but these babies will totally use it up, and possibly then some. Dump the chocolate chips into a bowl, and microwave for about a minute. Take out of the microwave, stir, and stick back in for 10-15 more seconds. Repeat the previous sentence over and over until you have liquid chocolate.
Now, delicately dip your balls in the chocolate using toothpicks or other thin implements of poking. Set back on the wax paper to dry. Sprinkles are an excellent topping for these, but be sure to sprinkle not long after dipping into the chocolate, as the chocolate dries pretty quickly.
These things are so amazingly satisfying, it’s like being able to eat a gigantic truffle without passing out from a sugar coma! I made this particular pile of them for Valentine’s Day for Drew, and he was pretty happy with them. I also made him this fabulous card:
Because nothing says “I Love You” like a happy bouncing sausage.