I am dedicating this post to all of the chocolate I have managed to acquire in the past few weeks. I do this to document the madness of it all, as well as to record the piles for posterity. This way, when the Chocolate Famine strikes 30 years from now because the cocoa beans achieve consciousness and overthrow governments, I’ll be able to scroll back through the internets and reminisce about the Good Ole Days.
It all started quite innocuously. See, up until the 25th, we mostly just had cookies. Then Christmas happened, and thusly we acquired a box of petit fours, a tort, ‘drinking chocolate’ (which, according to it’s package at least, is totally fancy and so above regular ole cocoa), along with 5 lbs of fudge which didn’t make it into this picture, due to the fact that most of it crawled into the freezer as soon as I gave it the chance. 5 lbs of fudge can go quite a long way, you know. I also got Drew a tub of chocolate hazelnut spread.
Then came my little visit to For The Love of Chocolate (a glorious Richmond shop that contains every possible form of chocolate imaginable). A $10 gift certificate goes far when there’s a post-holiday 50% off discount, so I picked up a few items, getting about $35 (before discount) worth of stuff for $7something.
Then came the serious overflow. A forgotten extra present from my parents results in a giant stack of chocolate bars. Drew’s mom piles us with more goodies. At a reunion, Drew’s extended family piles some more chocolate on the heap. And then the saddest part? A late night jaunt to Walgreens in search for a single thing results in a small pile of 75% off chocolate items returning home with us. It could not be helped, though. Those puppy dog eyes, that whimper. I would have been a complete and utter bastard to have even thought of not taking those items home. Besides, they had chocolate penguins and walruses. Penguins and walruses! In chocolate form! It really doesn’t get any better then that.
Actually, this is so what I get for telling people I like getting chocolate for Christmas. The problem is this: aside from a few books and a few pairs of socks, there’s not a whole lot of things that I want that fall into the ‘reasonable item to ask for a gift’ category. It’s either needing a new toothbrush and some tampons or needing a fancy digital camera, not too much inbetween. And on top of that, I’m really wary of acquiring mildly useless items. I fight packrattery with a passion. So, I ask for things that will go away eventually. I’ve moved out of my candle phase, have enough lotion to lubricate a spaceship at this point (as well as enough soap to wash it off again), and enough CD-Rs to last me through the next year. So, this mostly just leaves food. After all, I eat almost anything. Yet, for some reason the majority of people find it odd that, when asked what I want, I reply that what I really need is a nice tuna steak. And thusly, they default to the always appropriate edible gift: chocolate.
Not that this is a bad thing.