Sugar Cookies with Wheat Flour

I’d been planning on making sugar cookies for awhile. See, there’s been a large quantity of sugar cookie frosting sitting in my freezer for entirely too long, and I’ve just been waiting for a good opportunity to use it. As I’m not quite sure how long frosting lasts, even when frozen, I finally decided to suck it up and yank that puppy out of the freezer and eventually into my tummy.

The ‘with wheat flour’, as mentioned in the title, was purely by accident, by the way. Or rather, purely because of poor planning. Flour isn’t the sort of thing I check on a regular basis to ensure I still have some. Flour takes awhile to go away. Sometimes, in my mind, ‘takes awhile to go away’ equates to ‘infinite’. Like, I imagine there’s a portal in my pantry, specifically in my flour tub, and this portal leads to the Flourverse (like our own universe, but dustier and full of starch). See, there’s excess flour in the Flourverse that spills over through the portal, keeping me constantly with a supply of flour. This theory was completely blown to hell when, at the point after pretty much every other ingredient was mixed up, I went to get flour. I suppose it’s really a positive that I had wheat flour instead of no flour, as it saved me a bitter and cranky extra trip to the grocery store. And on Sunday afternoon, of all times, the most godforsaken time to ever set foot in a grocery store. So really, here’s my sentiment: Wheat flour, how I love you so. You made my cookies taste like health biscuit, but I added so much frosting that it doesn’t matter.

wheat sugar cookies

The picture is rather dark, this is because both my camera and my photo skills are competing for the 2008 Dinginess Award. In any case, here’s something else ridiculous. I’ve got this cookie gun, which can also be used as an frosting gun. So I’m all like, I’ll just stuff the frosting into the gun and shoot it on! I do so, and the frosting comes out really poorly. Like, sticking to the gun and refusing to get onto the cookie, and then getting on the cookie and sticking out all funny. And I start getting frustrated and wondering if I’m actually mildly retarded and don’t realise it, as I’ve seen people use a cookie gun for frosting quite well, and wonder what exactly is so wrong with me that I can’t do it? Then I get pissy and throw a knife on the floor. And then I throw the cookie gun. Both were unharmed in this completely unnecessary act of violence, but there is still frosting on the ceiling from the incident. I really don’t know how my objects put up with me, honestly, I would have walked out long ago.

Of course, I had a revelation about half an hour later that I used a cookie dough nozzle, and not an frosting nozzle. D’oh! So I’m gotta go buy my cookie gun some roses or something to make up for it, try to convince it to tell it’s friends it fell down the stairs, or something like that. To be honest here, I felt really bad about throwing the thing afterward, like I took a puppy and threw it or something. Anthropomorphization isn’t all it’s cracked up to be sometimes.

I’ll tell you who deserves it though: my kitchen cabinets. Things whack me upside the head all the time.

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One Comment

  1. superiorpaper February 18, 2017 3:16 am

    These are really very delicious looking cookies and I really want to say that I sure want to give a try making these cookies at home. It was good to read about these tasty cookies.