Vietnamese Garden Rolls

So at some point recently, a legion of lazy carrots invaded my fridge. They refuse to leave. So, inevitably, I’ve been attempting to figure out things to do with said carrots. I find raw carrots by themselves bland and boring, and cooked carrots by themselves are mildly repulsive. Nonetheless, the part of me that is descended from rabbits recognizes the value in eating carrots, as also does the part of me that wants to put off having to get glasses for as long as possible. Thus, I find ways to eat the carrots.

One excellent means of sneakily getting carrots into my stomach is the Vietnamese garden roll. These also serve as a vehicle for peanut sauce, one of the top nominees for the Best Sauce of All Time.

Anyhow, I boiled up some delightfully wormy (like, resembling worms, except incredibly appetizing!) noodles, shredded some lettuce, sliced up some tofu, and attempted to slice carrots without hurting myself. I failed at the latter task. Sure enough, that knife decided to get awful friendly with my left index finger. So it goes. Nothing bad at least, kudos to me for being lazy about sharpening cutlery!

Anyhow, after a sloppy assemblage, my dinner looked like this:

Vietnamese Garden Rolls

I had a bunch left. I set them down for one brief moment, and suddenly these strange beasts emerged from the ether, as if by Garden Roll Magic. They approached timidly, with that tiny glimmer of hope that these strange tubes might be a disguise for a chipmunk, or possibly a sparrow, or the rare wild sighting of small brown digestible pellets. But alas, disappointment was met by all but my tummy.

Cats sniffing garden rolls

Anyhow, the peanut sauce is awesome, you should make it and dip things in it. It’s easy!

-1/4 cup peanut butter (chunky is always fun)
-1/4 cup hoisin sauce
3/4 to 1 cup water

Boil until saucy. Add crushed peanuts if you are also saucy.

P.S. The recipe calls for a dash of sesame oil, but I always forget to add it. Tastes good either way!

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